Sacrifice

'Sacrifice' is not a dirty word.

We all make choices about what we'll trade for something else. We give
up one thing so we can have another. We give up our sports car so we
can shuttle our kids in a minivan; we give up expensive vacations so
we can finance our children's college; we give up buying the latest
power tools so our kids can have a treehouse. We give up time to
ourselves so that we can raise our children to be confident, happy
adults.

Sacrifice is a wonderful thing, and it actually feels good! We were
poor growing up, and whenever we had chicken for dinner my dad used
to always call dibs on the neck and back. He said they were his
favorite pieces. (Ew!) Now that I'm a dad, I look back on it and
realize that he was taking the worst pieces for himself so that the
rest of the family could have the best pieces. He took that secret
to his grave, but it's very clear to me now that if he had taken a
breast or a leg for himself, he would have gagged on it knowing that
one of his 4 sons was left with the neck/back. To him, the worst
parts of the chicken really were his favorites because they
represented his children getting the best he had to offer.

I think children need to understand that we make sacrifices for the
ones we love. It's a way of discerning and exercising values--a way
of expressing love for someone. And, children need to learn to
sacrifice, too. We live in a "you can have it all" culture, and so
many children are growing up to be spoiled brats because they get
pretty much whatever they want just by asking for it. They don't
appreciate what they have or what they've been given because they
can't understand the _sacrifices_ that were made to get those
things, whether we're talking about video games, their own rooms,
American freedom or whatever they claim to have.

When children learn to sacrifice, they appreciate what they have
more, and they learn that, in life, they must make sacrifices--
sports car vs. minivan, golf dates vs. helping with homework, etc.--
and that those sacrifices (choices) demonstrate to what degree they
are selfish vs. selfless. I truly believe that many marriages fail
because one or both spouses never learned to sacrifice--to be
selfless rather than selfish. It's important to teach our children
the values that make marriages, friendships, etc. last. What better
gift can we give them than the key to enduring relationships built
on love demonstrated through sacrifice?

"Love has nothing to do with what you expect to get, but with what
you expect to give--which is everything." --Katherine Hepburn.